i have this thing where if my “cis” friend mentions questioning their gender i’ll pounce i’ll be like OKAY BUDDY OKAY WHAT DO YOU NEED LET’S DISCUSS PRONOUNS DIFFERENT IDS DO YOU WANT ME TO LINK YOU TO BINDERS PACKERS BRA INSERTS YOU WANT IT I’VE GOT IT *RINGS BELL* EVERYBODY GATHER ROUND WE’VE GOT A NEW ONE
Captain Sashay doesn’t need your mer-binary.
Finally got another one of these out! Took a long while designing this character and making them consistent through all the panels.
Which monster should come next?
So like. Parents can come to Hogwarts to see their kids play Quiddich, right? (shut up if it’s not and just roll with me here.)
So what happens when Muggle parents get invited?
Could you imagine tho?
Like, after the initial “holy shit look at this magic…
*Trans woman walks out of a women’s restroom*
Cis woman: What were you doing in the women’s restroom?? I don’t really feel safe with people like you in there.
Trans woman: I was only defusing a bomb planted by agents of the patriarchy.
Cis woman: Wow, you’re really cool! Who are you?
Trans woman: The name’s Ronolactone. Spy Ronolactone. Now, do you mind if I go back in there and pee? I was super focused on defusing that bomb, and I didn’t exactly have time to take a pee break.
Cis woman: Um… I don’t think I’m comfortable with that.
Trans woman: Seriously?? Fine, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to use my… license to pee! *holds up legal ID with ‘F’ gender marker*
*SPY RONOLACTONE THEME MUSIC PLAYS*
Later in the episode…
Dr. TERF: Any last words before I lower you into this pool of sharks, Mister “Spy Ronolactone”, if that is your real name?
Spy Ronolactone: Of course it’s not my real name. It’s a goddamn pun.
Dr. TERF: Spoken like a true infiltrator. Prepare to get eaten by sharks. This will show the government not to send their gender agents after me!
Spy Ronolactone: You think the government sent me? The same government with whom you used your position as medical adviser to deny me healthcare?? The same government with whom I had to go through months of stress and headache just to get my ID?
Dr. TERF: … *pulls the lever to lower Spy Ronolactone into the pool of sharks*
A few minutes later, after Spy Ronolactone uses an implausible gadget to escape and a well-choreographed fight scene ensues…
Dr. TERF: Noooooo!!! I’ve fallen into my own pool of sharks!!! *The sharks begin to devour her* You can’t eat me, sharks! I know biology, and I know that sharks don’t eat people!
Shark: But you kept us hungry so that we would eat people! You can’t have your “biology” both ways! *takes another bite*
Spy Ronolactone: Mmmm….. Surf and TERF.
Radio: Agent Ronolactone, excellent work! Report back to the Baeddelship for debriefing.
A few minutes later, back onboard the Baeddelship, Spy Ronolactone is walking down an empty corridor towards a lone door at the end of the hall, a plain wooden door ominously marked in small serif font: DEBRIEFING ROOM.
She opens the door, revealing a massive recreation room, full of trans women in various states of dress and undress. Some have formed large cuddle piles on the carpeted areas; some are playing video games; and some are quietly reading books off in the less crowded areas, wearing noise-cancelling headphones and sipping herbal tea.
Spy Ronolactone: Ah…. finally. *her cell phone rings* Dammit. *answers* Hello?
Shark: Hey, um, this is one of the sharks that ate Dr. TERF. I’m the one that swallowed her head. You see, she genetically engineered us to be able to talk, but we’ve gotten kind of bored and lonely just talking amongst ourselves in this little pool. So anyway, I feel kind of awkward asking this, but could we come to your party?
Spy Ronolactone: That depends. Are you cis?
Shark: Um… I dunno. We’re sharks?
Spy Ronolactone: Fair enough. Are you men?
Shark: Again… we’re sharks. We don’t really have a concept of “gender”.
Dr. TERF: *heard yelling inside the shark, voice muffled* That’s what I’ve been fighting for! The destruction of gender with sharks!
Shark: Um… sorry about that…
Spy Ronolactone: Alright. Finish digesting her and come hang out with us.
*SPY RONOLACTONE ENDING CREDITS PLAY*
Announcer: Next time, on Spy Ronolactone!
*camera cuts to Spy Ronolactone confronting Dr. Brony in his malodorous Man Cave*
Dr. Brony: You say that you, as a *scare quotes* “trans woman”, experience *scare quotes* “transmisogyny” that is worse than the oppression that I face, as a brony, for being a man who likes something that is *scare quotes* "feminine*? Explain how that isn’t heteromisandrist… using LOGIC!
*A robot, covered in suspicious stains, holding a deadly laser pistol in each hand, steps out of the shadows*
Dr. Brony: Logic Checking Bot here will examine your arguments for fallacies! So let’s try to be…
Spy Ronolactone: *scare quotes*
Dr. Brony: …objective!
*DRAMATIC CHORD PLAYS*
I felt like reposting this trashy screenplay I wrote for a transfeminist spy show.
wHAT THE FUCKING SHIT
this is so beautiful i’m going to cry
My house is strange. There’s me, i’m bisexual, and I live with my gay brother and my asexual fiance.
My brother and I have the same taste in boys, but i’m really the only one who likes girls, and my fiance is generally just really excited about dragons.
Dude I want this sitcom
is generally just really excited about dragons
saying “if it benefits all genders, why is it called feminism?” is like saying “if they rescue cats from trees, why are they called fire fighters?”
plenty of things serve more than one purpose, but some are a bit of a higher priority on account of being a more urgent requirement
FUCK nintendo (opens my wallet) i CANNOT believe they’re selling this shit (pulls out $150) an entirely new fucking console that’s exactly like the old one (gives money to cashier) all it is is a new fucking button the 3ds doesnt have (goes home with my new 3ds ll) this is fucking bullshit god damn it (buys and plays all the games that come out for it) fuck nintendo
I just watched an old couple get into their car and set off the alarm and then try to turn it off for like ten minutes before giving up and driving away with the alarm still going off
now that i think about it maybe i just watched an old couple steal a car